Having a new baby in the house reminded me of this internal struggle. When we decided to have another baby I was hitting my stride as a mom of a toddler. We were doing lots of fun Pinterest activities, eating healthy home cooked meals, I was in school almost full time, going on walks with playtime at the playground, and successfully cloth diapering for almost a year. I felt like I had it all figured out so surely we could handle another child with ease. Wrong again.
Don't get me wrong I love my kids with every fiber of my being. They are everything I ever wanted and more. Going from one child to two is a whole new ball game. I'm still trying to figure it out. Somedays things just fall into place and run so smoothly I do feel like super mom. Those days were the laundry gets done, the floors are mopped, all meals were served hot and on time. The ones were you do all that and still have time to work out and get a shower. Yup, those days are like walking on sunshine. Then there are the days were it feels like everything is going wrong and if my toddler isn't heading for timeout then the baby can't stand to be off the boob. The house looks like a bomb went off and as my head is spinning and I am about to tear my hair out yelling at my child for something silly, I instantly start to mentally reprimand myself Aaden didn't have yelling in the house when he was a baby, poor Averlee. And poor Aaden, he shouldn't have to put up with yelling now..... Yup, I yell sometimes, I know I'm not the only one. But it's a constant uphill battle I am trying to climb everyday in hopes that one day I won't.
There are so much expectations out there these days. A bigillion articles about how to be a perfect parent. Other moms make it look so easy. But there is no such thing as a perfect parent and our kids don't come with hand books. It's just a learn as we go thing. As long as our babies feel loved they should come out ok. We just have to remember to show ourselves some love too even if its just for making it through another day with (most of) our sanity. Haha